Monday, October 18, 2004


any chance this is what today's Horrorscope was all about???

to start...a post to *Galahad*

"Warmest Greetings *Galahad*...

it has been a very trying, if not confusingly frustrating past few weeks...but the clouds are clearing and new dynamics are coming into play which offer this girl a chance to have her dreams not only acknowledge but, with the right amount of discipline and guidance, perhaps seen too as well...

Sir and i have talked very recently, and though the collar remains with Him, and the outcome remains to be seen... it is not simply my wish alone that we might eventually make good of this journey for which we have embarked upon...

Sir wishes that collar back...and i long for it, but as Sir has all to recently stated, there will be many trials and errors along the way...

one of my errors, as i see it, was allowing my past to reflect upon my future...

in keeping in contact with You and *Mr. Virginia* and *Ghostie* among others, i was leaving little room for growth with the one for whom i long to grow with...and that wassssss my error...

Sir has no issue of my keeping in contact on a limited basis, so if i should come to pass You in MH on occassion i might simply to say hello... but this shall indeed be the last posting i shall send and i am hopeful that you understand completely in my reasoning as to why...

You are a good friend, and i shall miss, perhaps most of all, tauntings of the boys in blue... (not that i care much causes the UK may have Everton, buts dommits the States gots the best there!!!)

wishing You and Yours the very best in all of Your endeavors,

~*note from Yahoo IM to please add Him to list...*~

Good luck moonie
thank You ... im still reading your post...and it's not that i cannot have friends its that right now we are still growing...and too many outside influences hinder me so he wishes that i limit time spent talking to others
laughs...whatever it is you have made a decision....and it probably is the right one...its time to move forward I dont remember us using a lot of time, so I suspect you are referring to someone else
it wasnt justtt the post to you....but those post i think had been something not so good....yesturday he had said it looked to him as though we had been posting back and forth all the day and thattt was what had upset him most
Can I speak frankly
of course
He clearly is narrow minded, we were not posting back and forth all day, I presume you told him that, he didnt believe you. He was not even courteous enough to acknowledge My mail to Him If He makes you happy, that is all that counts at the end of the day
i hadnt known he thought that way until yesturday, but yes i didd say as much that it had not been an all day posting
He could have asked me anything..I would have told him straight, instead he chose to believe his own thoughts....a dangerous move, when your thoughts are prejudiced
He's not against You....he's against my being so chatty with those of my past when he is trying to establish a core relationship with me as i wasnt jusssst you
It matters not who it was
*Ghostie* had called and left a message on my answering machine that day too...and unfortunately.... had called me "darling" you and i know that is simply a term of endearment between friends in the UK...but in the States....oyyyyyyyyyy
So tell Him to understand we dont all talk like Yanks !!!
nods time i can
Is He so blinkered ?
remember how blinkered i was?????
Did you send a similiar mail to *Ghostie* ??
*Ghostie* is no longer online....i've rather simply to have not picked up the phone, but *Ghostie* does know what happened
Moonie...I really do wish you hapiness....but when I see words like...... but this shall indeed be the last posting i shall send .......It appears to me that you are loosing all your friends...
i hope i dont lose your friendship.... it just....i'm not going to be able to contact you...if your in MH orrrr if you send a quick hello here even...i willlll be able to respond....but i cant take the initiative to posting myself right now
You think its possible to have a friend you wont talk to anymore....A friend...that in times you have turned to for advice...that you can send a message saying I wont be mailing you anymore...but oh..I hope we can stay friends....
pleaseeeee dont do this
You did it not Me.....
*nods softly...understood then
Can I ask one question...then I will leave you forever......
*sighs of course
i'm not going to be able to contact you........................ That implies He has imposed a restriction on you
no restriction, but his desire
Then I will e-mail him, tell him that his wishes will be observed...and also tell him a few home truthes about himself
thats it *Galahad*, go on, make it all the more harder for me
I wont make it harder, in fact I will make it easier, because it will be clear to Him that you are obeying his wishes
*nods softly, i'm sorry that i've hurt You yet again in my choices...
You have changed, He has changed you, and what I see is not a nicer person. Im not hurt.....just surprised. You are lucky.....I cant find His e-mail address. I will write to Him care of yourself, and trust that you will do Me the honour of forwarding it...My guess is that it will go missing
do you not know me better than that by now? go on him if you wish....(addy deleted for this post) just remember one thing *Galahad* ...remember the bloody hell it was when i was with You and TCC and NL went on about Your ways... whats going to end up happening???? Your going to piss him...
seems like all the interference....whatever it is/was comes from that side of the water...does that tell you anything ???
*thinks she tried to remedy that once or twice.....
I wont write to him direct, I am doing it through you, the choice of what you do with it is yours
nevertheless...i'm on this side of the pond *nods softly... i apologize....that was rude of me
You dont listen do you.................I wish you well...I really do.....but I object to anyone telling me who I can or cant have as a friend...and if that person is so rude as to receive a freindly mail and not acknowledge accuse me of things I am not guilty off.....and it would appear that most of the manners are on this side of the pond !
yes yes....manners are mostly found there....consideration for anothers feelings are found there as well!!!! *wishes You most well....really i do
Mail will come to you soon
You have mail on its way

i thought it came, but when i went to check there is nothing there, please resend?
I have only just sent it seconds ago
*nods softly
I wonder who you will turn to the next time the shit hits the fan
you do realize how hard this is?
I have sent it twice now
it's just reading

~*the post*~

Dear *FMT*,
I have today received a mail from Moonie, in which she states that it will be the last time she will ever be contacting Me again. Also that she is doing it to help preserve what you two have, and that what she is doing is your desire.I have no problem with that, I looked on moonie as a friend, at a time she was worried she turned to me for advice nothing more. Clearly friendship is not in your vocabulary. I wrote to you explaining, its a pity you were not courteous enough even to acknowledge that mail, but I have come to find that that is par for the course for people from that side of the pond.The fact that you are now picking and choosing her friends is sad, but if that is the type of person you are , or are growing in to , who am I to judge you, there must be something moonie sees in you.
Take care of her, I wish her luck, somehow I think she is going to be needing an awful lot of it.


~*back to messenger*~

What is laughable is the last mail you sent me about the boy spitting his dummy out at you, and how you saw what he really was
explainable but will not go there, there is always two sides to a coin *Galahad*
Well that is one less Christmas Card for you to send...... maybe you should show Him your list....see if ther are any more he wishes you to cross off
Dommmmmmmmits *Galahad* why must You be such an arse!
smiles wickedly...My girl calls Me a must be in the genes.....
bye moonie

closer at its finest hour....take care Sir

~*(a few brief post i forgot to save as they seemed unimportant)*~

You two probably deserve each other
yeahhhh...cause i left the best of me over there right??? ohhhh...and why you wanting to add me on now after telling me delete? you make no sense
I deleted you then a box popped up asking me to add you, so I assumed you had something else, possibly constructive to say
if i am a friend then dommmits if i aint suppose to be a friend thick or then, and same of you...but seems your not a friend, toss me cause im in the thick of it all now
Did I write to you stipulating conditions under which I would talk to you ???
end off
sucks it ends this way after all the shit we been through
all I can say is what I said and he chose to end it...not me
sadly, all *i* chose was that i could not be contacting You via emails any longer... it was your choice not to have ANY further contact at all...respectfully, i oblige
YOU chose that any contact would have to be initiated by Me
Or maybe it was He
I dont know nor care

beforeeeeeeee i had you on messenger, i had posted the email....i had also stated in that dayumed email that i would occasionally be in MH and i woulddd say hello then did i not???? i guess the true point is that you dont doesnt fit into your mold... as i said before, for all that we have been through, its pityful it ends like this
I dont care for ANYONE who thinks they can dictate who I speak to and under what terms
you know what....there was a time i could have been yours...a time none of this existed...but you didnt want me...and you still dont...its just that you cant stand the rules have changed... when i was yours it was quite alright to dictate...but it's not alright for him to have certain expectations is it??? i was the fool for thinking you was anything of a friend...i thought you would be happy for me having finally found one worth the efforts and willing to make the efforts as well.... how foolish of me!


Post a Comment

<< home

::Recent Visitors::