Saturday, October 04, 2003




~*Danger Zone*~

oyyyyyyyyyyyyy...when i goofs i reallllllllllllllly goofs...

soz last night i was talking with "J"...should have been talking with Ghostie about all of those lil issues i was having (i know...i knowsssssss) trouble was that i wasnt quite sure howww to tells Ghostie...i mean, it's kinda hard to tell the person you thinks your falling in love with that the Ex appears to be haunting your thoughts moreso than usual eh?

i was feeling guiltier than sin and hadn't even done anything...truth is, i was scared to tears Ghostie would think i was still in love with the Ex and not bother to come to the States at all for it...

fact is i might very well still be in love with the Ex, perhaps, maybe... who knows...

i know there are things i miss, and i know there's a void to be filled...but do i really think the Ex is the answer???? notta chance in bloody hell!

which is why i was getting so gawds awful unnerved with the fact that all of a sudden lil things that reminded me of him kept popping into play...

soz i did the one thing i could think to do, i went and talked with someone who knew abouts "moonie" and explained what the H-E-Double Hockey sticks was going on in my lil head...

it had helped...loads....sozzzzzz todayyyyy i went back to talks with "J" a bit and to say thank you for the wake up call...

i went into ICQ, normally i talks with "J" in yahell, but every now and again he pops into Q...anyhow, saw the name up there on the screen for which "J" goes by real life, and thoughttttttttttt it was my "J"....i was purrrrumbling when "J" said he was looking at buying a house in NC... i even made comment abouts how it figuresssssss after all this time we might have actually get to have that dinner... i was thrilled to tears really...it's been a lil over a year since i got to see "J"... i was rambling abouts all the lil things we had talked of when i was still in Cali...actually i was sweating it a bit, praying he'd not tell Ghostie all those lil things he used to dangle before me about my behaviors and such and how they deserved to be addressed... yadda yadda yadda...

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i realized it wasn't my "J"!!!

ooopsiessssss...blushes...wishing you well Sir and uhmmm...time for me to scamper tooooo....ACKS!!!!

just desserts eh? should've gone to Ghostie in the first place....

when i talked with Ghostie this afternoon i told him what had happened, told him why i had gone to "J" in the first place, and told him what "J" had said about all the lil happenings i was encountering...

nowwwwwwwwww i'm truly feeling loads better...

~*blushes...just another lil lesson learned the hard way*~

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