Thursday, September 25, 2003




~*Intuitions & Inhibitions*~

okies, soz right now theres allllllllllot floating about in this little head of mine...some of it is reallllly realllly yummyfrickenlicious types stuff, and some of it is scawrrrrrrrrrey scawrrrrrrrrrrrey scawrrrrrrrrrrrrey types stuff... and none of it really matters much, which is a good thing considering most of it makes no sense to me at all...

Ghostie made a comment yesturday that took me down memory lane to perhaps THE most painful road i've ever been on, i know he meant well, but something about being there to pick up a fallen angel just raised a red flag in spite of the fact that i knowwwwww he probably would do if needed...

and speaking of red flags...wellll...this has nothing at all to do with Ghostie but loads to do with my sanity..."Galahad's" back...and the chitty thing about that is:

i know what he's doing, but i don't need him "lurking" about

funny isn't it? for months now i have been wondering about him, worrying about him, wishing for the life of me that we could just get past that big blob of "it" that keeps us from moving forward with a friendship we promised would never cease to end, in spite of the fact that our search for what we sought out in life didn't exactly mesh with the ideals we had set for one another (hmmm..yeah, i guess thats the best way of putting it)

anyhow...now i'm sitting here thinking to myself that i can do fine enough on my own and what the h-e-double hockey sticks does he think he's trying to prove by coming around nowwwwwwww of all times... he's certainly not speaking to me by any means... he's just sorta "there"

and it pisses me off!

i dont need, wish for, or desire another mind-fuck and isn't that what it really is?

yeahhhh, i thinks so


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