Saturday, June 21, 2003

~*Just About The Time...*~

ever give up hope, and then find the answer to questions you only dreamed ever being answered? what if, after waiting so long, you find you really don't care much now that the question had even existed...and the answer is meaningless? then again, what happens when the knowledge changes the course of your life completely?

i am an addictive personality, when i like something i take it to the extreme...i smoke incessively, thanking gawdsss my drinking addiction is only to the likes of diet coke else i'd make for a good AA candidate as well, i've steered clear of drugs knowing all to well how much the high of just one simple lil pill can feel...but aside from all of that there are other addictions...

what if your addicted to love...or have a presummed fixation upon what the meaning of love truly is?

Addictions are harmful... and none, when taken to the extreme level, can possibly be good for you...

Ive been "in love" only twice in my lifetime, and i'm facing the reality that perhaps i am falling in love once more, and if the truth can be told i want so much to fight it and to run like hell in the opposite direction sometimes, knowing how much it hurts when the love of your life doesn't love you back...

and just as i fight all of the personal conflicts within me, just as i go to throw up a new brick, i realize...

The person who said i didn't trust enough to love...also said i loved too much...

how's THAT for a mind fuck?

(and did i just curse??? oyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)


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